Whiteout

Thank heaven for expository dialogue because without it, apparently the audience (those that actually went to see this movie) would be lost – or at least so the director and or scriptwriter seemed to think. The plot of Whiteout seems almost irrelevant – it’s the back story of Kate Beckinsale’s character that is apparently what’s important. How do we know this? Well, we are exposed to flashbacks that in ten minutes time replayed again – twenty minutes later – same flashback. Relevant? Hardly. Does Kate Beckinsale get naked? Nope. Does anyone get killed with a power tool? Nope. Do we get another flashback? Yup. Same one? Yup. Still relevant? Still don’t know. Do we know who the killer is? Yes. How come? Because it is so damn obvious. Do we know why Kate Beckinsale is in the South Pole saving the world from would be killers there? Yes. How do we know? Flashbacks. Ninety-four of them total if I counted right. Is the director making a movie for idiots? Yes. How do I know? I saw it didn’t I?