Vipers (2008)

Death by flesh eating poisonous snakes! Snakes that also feed on bone. Snakes that multiply faster than a calculator. Snakes that have the ability to smash down doors. Snakes baby! Oh good God snakes! Now this is a plot worthy of a $30,000,000 budget. And that my friends is called sarcasm. This movie didn’t actually have such a budget. Surprisingly though it had a budget of $9,000,000. I’m not entirely sure how that happened. Was someone in the need to throw away 9 million? Is there some elaborate money laundering scam that required the loss of that much money? I mean let’s face it, Tara Reid starring in a TV movie about killer man eating snakes…this does not scream KACHING! The screaming is more apt to be from investors jumping out of windows once they realized that all their money is gone gone gone. That is of course this isn't some epic money laundering scheme. In which case, if it is, job well done folks! So lets hope not a large portion of this budget went to Tara Reid’s salary. Or to the script writers. Or to the special effects team. I hope it went to the people of whatever town was rented for this catastrophe. Let’s hope it went to them because they had to sit around and watch this thing being made. But now now, perhaps I’m being too harsh. This is not the worst film I’ve ever seen. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not good.  I mean the characters are basic, the plot is ridiculous, the acting is sub par at best.   Still – I mean snakes attacking as if they were monsters or zombies – okay, that seems kind of fun. To be honest, I liked Snakes on a Plane. I was one of those people who were irritated when people said, “Snakes on a Plane was stupid. It was just a bunch of people getting killed by snakes on a plane.” This movie is called Vipers and minus the airplane thing, the plot is pretty much the same. Killer snakes. Hissssss… My advice – enjoy this movie with alcohol. If you don’t have any alcohol nearby, then my advice…perhaps you should enjoy a different movie. 

 

Melvin