The Stepfather (2009)

 

 

Wow, it’s good to be home from Oates Military Academy! Kelly picked me up at the airport, and she had the best surprise; when I got off the plane, she was waiting for me in a bikini! For some reason the people at the baggage claim kept staring at us. I guess they like my matching luggage.

 

Got home and met Mom’s new man. David seems like a neat guy! I’m glad he’s been around to protect Mom, since there have been all those unsolved murders happening in our neighborhood over the last few months. Even though Mom and David have only been together for a few months, they seem really happy.

 

David took me down in the basement and gave me some tequila! Awesome! I would like to come down here and raid his booze stash, but he keeps everything so well locked up! That’s probably good, actually; I wouldn’t want my little brother Sean to be raiding the booze stash. Having all those locks on all the cabinets down here seems really reasonable. He even has a lock on the door to the basement, so that we won’t accidentally fall down the stairs if we come downstairs at night. Good thinking!

 

 

Good news! David got me back on the swim team! I went over to the pool to do some laps, but unfortunately it was closed because someone had brutally stabbed the athletic director and partially eaten the corpse. Weird! Instead Kelly and I went to the store and she tried on some underwear. Every time she came out of the changing room to show me, there seemed to be a large group of people around.  I guess they were all waiting for the changing room, too.

 

At dinner tonight David wouldn’t give me any mashed potatoes until I called him “Daddy.” He’s a funny guy! It was OK, because I couldn’t eat much with the ball gag he insisted I wear. I wasn’t that hungry anyways.

 

 

Boy, it’s been a busy week. Yesterday, I spent several hours helping David with some bags of leaves. I know most people would just burn their leaves, but David insisted we bury them in the backyard. David tells me that this is how the Native Americans insured a good growing season the next year. Cool! The bags of leaves seemed really heavy and irregularly shaped, but David told me that that was because he weighed the bags down with rocks and pieces of wood, so that they wouldn’t blow away while he was raking. Good thinking!

 

 

Kelly came over to show me her new thong. It’s nice! Then she showed it to David, and he really liked it too! Kelly and I were going to work on our college applications, but the mail never showed up today. Apparently the mailman was found strangled to death the other day. Delivering mail sure is unsafe, I guess!

 

 

Went out to Applebee’s tonight. David tried to order a beer, and the waitress asked for ID. For some reason he didn’t have it, but the waitress eventually gave him the beer anyways. As we were leaving, the police showed up! Apparently someone murdered our waitress about the time David left to use the bathroom. What a crazy world! I got the All-You-Can-Eat riblets, and they sure were good!

  

 

It’s really great being home. It sounds like David and Mom are having such a nice time in their room at night, and David has promised me that he will help me buy a gun soon. I went online to learn about guns, and someone had set the homepage to www.tubgirl.com.     I checked the browser history, and there were 700 different midget porn sites bookmarked. My little brother sure is a perv!

 

I’m a little concerned. Sean didn’t come home yesterday, and then I couldn’t sleep last night because David was up in the attic using his power tools. I’m glad he is working on home improvements, but it would be great if he could cut up all the timber at a more appropriate time.

 

 

Doing laundry today, and one of David’s shirts is all covered in red stuff. I ask him about it, and he gets all flustered. First he tells me he cut himself shaving, and then he tells me he was drinking grape juice and the glass broke, and then he gets this blank look on his face and stares at me for 6 minutes, and then he begins muttering to himself and goes in the other room and sharpens an entire box of pencils. That would be great if he could just tell me what happened, I need to know if I should be using bleach or club soda on this shirt. 

 

David made us meatloaf for dinner tonight. After dinner, Kelly and I sat out on the patio and talked about how weird it was that Mrs. Cutter was dead. David says she was clawed to death by her cats, but that just seems weird. I wonder how he knows that, anyway. Also, Kelly sure does look hot in a bikini.

 

OK, I think there might be something weird going on with David. Yesterday, I caught him videotaping Kelly while she was using the bathroom, and then today Beth was listening to Krokus “Night Wolf” and David tried to stab her. I should probably call my dad to have him do a background check on David.

 

 

I’m noticing some strange things about David. He always seems to pay cash for everything, yet he hasn’t worked more than a couple days for the entire time I’ve been home. Also, he never goes to the bank. I guess he must have a huge duffel bag of cash somewhere. Also, he doesn’t have ID, which is always a hassle when we go to the movies or when he buys beer or when he has to get into a bar. I’m beginning to think he may not be 21. It kinda creeps me out to think that my mom is dating a guy who’s only a few years older than me. 

 

 

OK, this is getting really freaky. Went to the store with David. While we were waiting in line, a woman came up and asked him if he was that guy from America’s Most Wanted. It was really funny. Then a few minutes later, that same lady gets murdered! I’m glad David was OK.

 

 

This morning, I came downstairs just in time to see a guy who looks just like David murdering my Dad with a trident. Weird! Anyways, he sees me, growls, picks up the body and runs out the door. A few minutes later, David gets back from his morning run. I wish David had been there to protect my Dad! David helped me clean up all the blood, and then we drove over to the lake and I helped him push this abandoned car that he had found into the lake. I though of telling David that my dad had the exact same car, but I know David is still sensitive about my Dad, so I didn’t bring it up.

 

 

Had a rough night last night. First, Kelly comes over and accuses me of obsessing over David. I tried to argue with her, but I kept being distracted by her crotchless panties. Then, David drugs my Mom and tries to kill me with a circular saw! I’m pretty sure he was just trying to bond with me, but that’s going a little far! Also, Kelly’s ass was looking good! I though about talking to Mom about David, but instead I just stared dreamily at Kelly’s ass for hours while she ran screaming through the house as David chased her with a meat cleaver. I wonder if someday someone will make a movie that features multiple lovingly framed shots of Kelly’s ass.

 

 

Hey, have you seen David? After I stabbed him in the neck last night, he packed up all of his things and moved out. I feel bad, and Mom is really mad at me because she’s not getting any more action, and that means she has to start going to happy hour again. Also, someone drowned Aunt Jackie in her pool, so Mom needs a new wing woman. 

 

It’s kinda lonely here since everyone in the neighbor hood has been beaten to death with a hammer. At the same time, I’m glad that none of them lived to see David leave; they all liked him an awful lot. I hope I didn’t hurt David’s feelings; I really though we could have been the perfect family for him.  

 

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