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incoherent
9
Although the specifics seems to change from one film to the next, the general consensus seems to be that it is really only a matter of time before the machines rise up to take over the world, at which time we are deeply, deeply fucked. In preparation for this moment, and in order to attempt to better understand that which will soon be my master, I present a review of 9 written from the point of view of my toaster.Read more
Bloodrayne
There's something fucked up going on in Transylvania, or where ever the fuck this movie takes place. Apparently, someone has been having a contest to see who can make the worst movie ever, so these dudes show up to look for vampires and have dirty sex. One of them is played by Michael Madsen, looking drunk enough to die. The other guy is played by some dude who won the Seann W.Read more
Gamer
Someone puts on some Marilyn Manson and it’s “some years from this exact moment” according to the title card and then OMG! WTF! there’s stuff blowing up and there’s people shooting and running and running and dying and shooting and bleeding and sneaking and sniping and shooting and shooting and shooting and shooting and there’s grenades aspolde and it’s loud and now I’m running and shooting and there’s a save point and my buddy aspolde and I’m running and shooting and bleeding and now my head asplode and OMG! WTF!Read more
