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Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)
I absolutely adore my wife. I need to throw this out there, because it plays into this review multiple times; the first one occurring last week after a particularly long and tiring day of work.
Transporter 2
The Transporter 2 is the sweet, sweet middle installment of the theatrical tour de force (That’s French!) that is the Transporter franchise. It is the totally shitty sequel to the kind-of awesome The Transporter, and the lead-up to the not-quite-as-shitty (but still shitty!) Transporter 3. It is worth noting that the first two movies were directed by noted auteur (That’s also French!) Louis Leterrier (French as well! The trifecta!)Read more
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
INT: King Balor's Throne Room - Night
A bunch of pasty white people dressed in leather bondage gear are chilling with the King, who is sitting on his throne drinking Patron from a pimp cup. Guillermo del Toro is currently standing behind a set of turntables on a raised platform in the back of the hall. He is wearing bondage pants, a black mesh top, and goggles, and is currently attempting a mash-up of Ministry's "Thieves" and "Mambo no. 5"
Prince Nuada enters.Read more
Inglourious Basterds
Quentin Tarantino is back with another of his trademark auteur-fests with "Inglourious Basterds", a wonderful reimagining of World War II as seen through the eyes of...well, it's a Tarantino film, so through the eyes of a few dozen different people, experienced grossly out of order, set to a rousing neo-Western soundtrack. Hijinx ensue.
Since I'm not sure Quentin himself fully understands the film, I'll opt to make note of some important plot-points:
-Brad Pitt commands an amazing Italian accent.Read more