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Demolition Man (1993)

 

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Twisted! (2004)

As some of y'all may know, Postietoastie is currently saddled with a fuckton of free time.  Now, for people who were enterprising or ambitious, the concept of several weeks of time to do fuck all would be regarded as some sort of blessing.

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Antichrist! (2009)

Back from the dead!

 

In no particular order, my 3 thoughts about Antichrist:

 

-1-Arthouse, award-winning torture porn is still torture porn.

 

-2-Just in case Michael Bay ever decides to reboot this film, I've gone ahead and started rewriting the script.  Here's a quick excerpt:

 

(CRAZY WIFE is chasing RECENTLY CASTRATED HUSBAND through the woods)

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Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)

I absolutely adore my wife.  I need to throw this out there, because it plays into this review multiple times; the first one occurring last week after a particularly long and tiring day of work.

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Cop Out (2010) [500 Word Review]

            I saw the trailer for Cop Out before some unmemorable movie. I remember the trailer though because it looked about as stupid as dumb is to stupid is dumb. I am a sucker for all things cinema…okay, most things cinema. I’ve still never seen The Notebook OR Gone With The Wind and I feel just fine about that thank you very much! In fact, if you want to continue down that path, there are plenty of movies that I have not seen and never ever plan to. Can you say Dear John? How ab
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Legion

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Vipers (2008)

Death by flesh eating poisonous snakes! Snakes that also feed on bone. Snakes that multiply faster than a calculator. Snakes that have the ability to smash down doors. Snakes baby! Oh good God snakes! Now this is a plot worthy of a $30,000,000 budget. And that my friends is called sarcasm. This movie didn’t actually have such a budget. Surprisingly though it had a budget of $9,000,000. I’m not entirely sure how that happened. Was someone in the need to throw away 9 million? Is there some elaborate money laundering sca
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Avatar (2009)

Sherlock Holmes (2009)


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Twilght/New Moon (2009)

Let me start by admitting that I am embarrassed to say that I have seen both Twilight and New Moon in the theater. In both instances I went to the film by myself and in both instances I felt that embarrassment I just mentioned upon purchasing a ticket, opening the theater doors and especially upon walking into the theater. I understood upon walking into the theater that the ma
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